Job Rant

I work at a university. I am a secretary.

Not....quite like that....but hey, wouldn't it be cool to show up for work all decked out looking like I just stepped out of the 1940's? (yet another motivation to lose weight....all of the cool retro clothes I'll be able to start collecting and wearing! But I digress....)

I've stated before that I hate my job and I've been looking for something else. I don't hate being a secretary (in fact, I quite like being a secretary), and I don't hate the university....I just hate this department I was forced to move to. Long story for another blog....but I need to rant about my job hunting experiences thus far. Warning: this may be long winded.

So this morning across my email at work comes a post from HR announcing another secretary (or to use the official title, Office Associate) position open for application in another department on campus. Off I trundle to the employment website to submit an application and resume.....again. This will make the fifth time since July 17th that I have done so.

The first one I applied for on July 17th, the department has never gotten around to scheduling interviews and in fact still has their job posting up and active. It's now the end of September. Calls to the department secretary inquiring about interviews illicit the answer, "Hopefully we'll be getting to that soon, we really need the help around here!" Um....suggestion: Get your act together then! I've pretty much written that one off....I'm not sure I want to work in a department that unorganized.

The second one I applied for called me on the same day their posting said they were going to begin reviewing applications (efficient) and scheduled an interview with me two days later (note to deparment above: you need to learn from these people!). The interview went off with flying colors, and though I was drenched in nervous sweat afterwards was pretty confident that I had nailed the job. Two days later I got the call.....that I didn't get it. But, the director told me that had it not been for an applicant that already worked in the department and was already familiar with the job requirements, they would have hired me. Hmm, good to know. Note to self: find out who my campus competition is beforehand and sabotage them. Relax, I'm kidding. Kinda. *evil laugh*

Despite the disappointment of not getting the job, that experience was actually pleasant. They were a really friendly bunch of people who were really on the ball. Pity, I would enjoy working in an environment like that. Since this group had their shite together, I assumed the third department I applied to would bring forth a similar experience. Nope.

After two weeks had passed after applying for #3 I started getting panicky and desperately curious. I hazarded a call to inquire about interviews.....to be awkwardly told they had already taken place.

What? I didn't even make the cut to be granted an interview!? Yeah, that did wonders for my already low self-esteem. The next day after my awkward phone call I got a generic Dear Jane email saying I wasn't hired. It didn't matter that I could deduce that it was another situation where the department obviously already had someone earmarked that they wanted to hire, but just had to go through the protocol of advertising the job and accepting applications....I still took it personally and spent a weepy evening wondering what the hell is wrong with me. If you already know who you want to hire, don't open the position up to the public! Just do an internal search! Don't give people false hope by letting people apply for a job you know they have no chance of getting! &*$&#*@^!

Deep breath, moving on....

The fourth one I applied for has been recent enough that I don't expect to hear anything (unless they pull a fast one like the department above did) until the end of this week or next. It would be an ideal situation.....the only problem is that it's part time. I need full time pay, it's non-negotiable (I'm playing "sugarmama" while my husband is completing grad. school). So why did I apply? It's rather complicated, but my current boss told me when I transitioned out here he'd be willing to consider making my position part time if I wanted. So....if I get offered this other position, and I can get my boss to let me keep this one too but at part time, I could work for both places and stay at full time pay. Lots of big IF's here....but hey, it's worth a try. I'm desperate.

And now with #5 that I applied for this morning......well, all I can do is wait and see if #4 and #5 amount to anything.

I'm so sick of being on the roller coaster ride and wading through campus bureaucracy and procedures. I've been applying for jobs off campus as well (which has amounted to nothing so far). The thought of leaving the university system is daunting, but I'm so tired of the BS that it won't be so hard to part ways now if it comes to that. I'm even willing to take a pay cut, as long as the benefits are good....and that shows how desperate I am to get out of here because I know without a doubt I'll never be able to find anything off campus that pays what I'm getting now, not that I'm making a lot anyway. But still, it's better than what is "out there."

I know, I know, at least I'm still employed and still getting a paycheck. It could be worse. I'm trying to be a good lil' trooper here, but the longer this goes on, the more I'm getting paranoid that I'll never get out of here. I honestly didn't think I'd still be wasting away in this deparment this long. The last few months have been a very humbling and eye-opening experience for me, but it's also fed every negative self-sabotaging worm in my brain by making me doubt everything about myself with the question, "What is wrong with me?"

OK universe, I get that I was supposed to learn something from all of this. Really, I get it. But please get me out of here before I go stark raving mad!